I find when I begin a new habit or behavior, I instantly know if it will be a crucial part of my routine and something that will keep me moving forward. As with many activities we start, there is the excitement of finding something that brings us joy, or energy, sparks our creativity or possibly relieves pain, helps us move better, feel better.
I believe the tendency is to replace something else in our schedule to be able to do this activity. We make it a part of our day or our week or possibly monthly. We add book club, its fun to feel the need to read and hook up with friends right? We start a new work out or fitness program, we initiate new habits with our eating, we start something that seems to make a difference.
After awhile, the tendency is to have some of those things we gave up or rescheduled, start hanging over our head. We maybe start replacing our new habit with an old one. We have our kids or spouses needs and schedules start wrecking havoc on our own. We justify our decision to pause in our own movement forward to accommodate others. This is our excuse. There are thousands of reasons to stop working on our selves and focus on the stagnate past behaviors we had shed just weeks or months ago. But no matter the excuse we tell ourselves, it we are honest with ourselves, it is always coupled with fear.
Fear of disappointment, failure, what others will think of us or maybe if we give up time with the kids to take care of ourselves. We justify our choices pretending that we are selfish if we keep up the good work. We justify quitting with the fact that others need us and we must provide. HOW DO WE RECOGNIZE WHAT IS RIDDLED WITH FEAR. There are many ways to talk yourself out of success, how do we change our own mind and talk ourselves INTO success? How much energy will it take to retrain your mind to accept the truth, acknowledge it, possibly appreciate it and move on. What are the steps? The first step for any process should be to recognize and accept what we fear about taking care of ourselves. Accept that we are afraid and maybe discover what we are afraid of. This may sound simple as you read my abbreviated log if this 1st step, and it is. But it is as complex as it is simple. As you recognize your behavior starting to change, as you begin the conversation of self doubt in your head, this is the moment to remind yourself of the success that you have had with the new behavior. Do you walk taller, smile bigger, sleep better, have compassion and forgiveness for others? As you notice the changes emotionally and mentally, do you begin to feel a bit disarmed? You have the desire to change, the desire for certain goals, but as they begin to happen, what thoughts are fighting against your success in your own head? And what if on top of these thoughts, are you not reaching your goal? If this process of reaching your goals feels like it’s not working, what are your thoughts telling you now? At this point, most people give up. They think that the process or the diet or the workout program are failing them. What is failing usually is you. You are allowing fear to talk you into not supporting yourself like you deserve to be supported. Maybe you feel like your family or friends aren’t supporting your process, and the truth is, there may not be clear communications of what you are trying to achieve, they may be seeing changes in you that they don’t understand because it hasn’t been explained to them. Perspective is a powerful ally, or it can wreck havoc like an enemy. Perspective of a specific situation is the power to make it as it should be, and with understanding from not just those around you, but also yourself. We all have projects and desires, but we have to give ourselves the tools to achieve them.
I believe that once you have acknowledged your fears of failure, you can achieve an evolution in your perspective to change the way you think about your goals.
By including the people in your daily life, you can help them understand what you want out of life and they can better understand your behaviors and words and changes.
With these two perspectives, you can be more open about your goals, your successes, your failures and because you have chosen to share this journey with others, you can now listen to ideas or suggestions that may very well assist you in your journey. The ones around us ultimately want us to succeed, even though it may be a struggle at times, they genuinely want to be apart of the journey. On top of all of that, if they aren’t aware of the whys and hows of your journey, you may end up alienating them and leaving them behind. This perspective might me very harmful to your success and any support they may have to offer.
What I am getting at is that to achieve something might take a little revamping on your part, you need to open yourself to the world, open yourself to others, human thought is an unmeasurable wealth, the more you listen, the more you learn, the more you will have the capacity to become the person you want to be.
Gaining a new perspective on why we sabotage ourselves, why we try so many things that we don’t know much about but they have worked for others, and why we fail can be used as the catalyst that will propel you in the proper direction. Trust. Trust yourself to learn, trust yourself to grow and trust that those around you want you to succeed. Start with Trust. Trust yourself today.
Quote of the day:
“What you are afraid of is a clear indication of the next thing you need to do.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson